16 February 2009

In the beginning

We met over 4 years ago.  i had travelled from one place to another to meet some people.  He was a friend of theirs.  For me, it was connection at first sight.  i was completely besotted.  Love came about a week later.  For Him, it took a little longer.  A month later i had followed Him to Brisbane and a few months after that moved in with Him.  Approximately 9 months later, He asked me to be His submissive - to receive His training collar and 2 years later, to receive the full collar.

The time between start and present has been an interesting one, full of many ups and downs on both sides.  In all that time He has never once let me down, disappointed me or hurt me in any way.  He is the most patient and loving of men i have ever met.  He is charming, considerate and polite - and intelligent beyond belief.  A quiet achiever, He gains people's respect easily.  i on the other hand, have a tendency to grate on people!  i am a full on kind of person, i have a strong, 'out there' personality and people tend to either love me or hate me.  i don't care.  This is who i am.

Two years ago i went through a mini crisis.  i was 33 when i discovered i was a submissive, in every sense of the word.  i had been seeking the dream D/s relationship since, the one where i could trust my Dominant with all my heart and soul and i would be loved and cherished in return.  So why, when He offered me His full collar did i almost turn Him down?

i was going through a serious doubting of who i was in this life.  It actually lasted two years.  i had to work through many issues in that time, to find out who and what i am.  i worked in a job i hated, in an industry i didn't really care about.  Stress was such a big and constant part of that job, i never had any time to serve or to think about what He might be going through.  Since getting the sack from my last job (basically they are idiots, i kid you not), i have had several months to relax and unwind.  It was with my 42nd birthday this year that things changed again suddenly.

i found my libido again and with it my submission.  The two are intrinsically linked.  For me there is not one without the other.  i have swung back full tilt and then some.  This journal is a result of that rollercoaster ride over the last two years, so i can record what we go through and what i learn about myself, about Him, about life and as a testament to what we have with each other.

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