19 February 2009

All is good

Last night Master and i talked about how everything is going. We've only just come back to our M/s path. i spent a while being princess precious as my sister would say and He had stresses from work. Not working anymore has helped me to find a balance and calm i haven't had in ages. i'm looking forward to study, but i get to stay home and do that, so its all fun.

i told Him why i spend so much time on the sites i do. i cannot explain it, but reading websites talking about it being right, proper and natural for a woman to be in the home and serving her Man's needs, that Men are superior to women by nature - doesn't mean better, just means superior, as in stronger - i find it all an incredible turn on. But not in the usual way. This excites me and causes a fire to burn deep inside me, somewhere near the womb! Usually when i'm aroused, a good wank and i'm right as rain, but not with this. i don't want to masturbate. i actually want to be taken.

So, i explained all this to Him, how it excites me and helps to develop the slave desire within and He got really excited by that. He believes in the equality of the sexes, but i'm hoping one day it will feel right and natural for Him to think of me as inferior, to see me as weaker, as property. i actually want that. i don't know why, but its definitely about going further into my slavery.

We had spoken a long time ago about His love of the Story of O. Not so much the movie versions, but the actual book. We had discussed me getting the same piercing as O and i told Him last night that though its up to Him what i get, if i were to have any say, i would want the same piercing O had or bigger. Don't go by what you see in the movies, in the book the piercing is big, chunky and goes 2/3s of the way down her thigh! Its there, its heavy and visible. There is no mistaking what it is or its meaning. He loved that i so wanted that.

i just love the idea of being changed in ways that He has chosen. i've love to have nipple stretchers in and also a chastity belt worn around the house. Or even while out shopping for that matter!

So all things are good. i was supposed to do a task the other day and didn't do it. Not rebellious, just didn't do it. i told Master last night that i need to be punished for things. i need punishment for this and He told me He'd already written it down. Now i'm not going to like getting it and most people don't look forward to punishment, i certainly don't like it, but i'm happy about this. i'm looking forward to getting this. Its been too long. It will remind me i am slave. That's what i want, that's what i crave. i just think i'm ready to go into this way deeper than He might be at this time.


  1. I totally get how you feel about punishment. I don't get rules or punishment enough, but I'd like to work on that more! I need it - it's necessary for me to be guided by a strong hand. I'm jealous your Master is writing down when you need to be punished - haha

  2. Master likes to use bank account analogy a lot lol. No He's not a banker. Basically, He talks about a punishment bank account. When i do something wrong, that adds to the account a certain amount of punishment strokes, such as 5 cane strokes or such. He won't punish me straight away all the time, but will let them add up a bit. Once punished, the account goes back down by the number of strokes or to zero.

    Unfortunately, a good behaviour does not deminish the account.


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